10 takeaways from 31 years of marriage

The writer shares some secrets to keeping one’s relationship strong, healthy and loving.




1. Coffee and me sound sexy.

Bring him brewed coffee in bed. Make him feel special by serving him an awesome happy meal, if you can. You will be amazed to see how this act of kindness will be reciprocated.

My weekend routine is to create a happy-face breakfast-in-bed. At first, he wasn’t that impressed, but lately he has been requesting for it.



2. Keep kissing and hugging.

Start and end the workday with a tight hug, assuring each other that you’ve got each other’s back. Your affectionate touch is more than enough to get those stressors away.



3. Make time for “us” time.

Plan a romantic rendezvous regularly. Don’t wait. Initiate.

I normally book, in advance, overnight stays, out-of-town trips, massage sessions and even out-of-the-country adventures to have quiet and private moments.

Invest in emotions and cherish memories no amount of money can buy.



4. Confess and be blessed.

A heaven-sent relationship is one in which you can truly be yourself with someone you love, trust and respect.


Spend quiet moments together to talk deep, ask, listen, and appreciate. Pamper him with your 100 percent attention. Listen and hear his heart out.


It was really hard for me, because I’m used to doing all the talking. I’m struggling, I’m with my iPhone 24/7; but recently, I realized it’s worth the digital detox. It’s not about the gifts — Lacoste shirts or jackets — nothing will ever replace listening emphatically.


With constant dialogue, in proper timing, I listen and tell him everything- He provides wisdom and assurance, and over the years, it helped us a lot and guided our decisions in our entire journey.



5. Sing and dance to the beat.

When was the last time you danced or sang with your loved one? Choose a sexy song or reminisce about your theme song, hold hands and feel the music. My all-time favorite goes like this, “I believe in miracles… where you from, you sexy thing.”


Most days, I will sweat it out and belly dance inside the room, in costume, while dedicating a dance for him.



6. Laugh out loud.

Share funny stories at work, posts you’ve read and movies you’ve watched. Search for hilarious clips and movies. Engage in laughter.


After office, we take few moments together to dine, walk and talk. Before driving home, we find time to share funny and corny jokes we come across during the day. I normally burst out while cracking jokes to the point of having him laugh even without understanding what I’m saying.



7. Little is big.

Throw little surprises. If budget is an issue, I suggest stick to the low-cost, high-impact language of love, like surprise text messages: out-of-the-blue “I love you”s, simple juices or desserts, or even a sweet old perfumed note just like in the old days. Your creativity is your only boundary.


Bernard works at the airport. I recall, one time, I requested him to get me a pass. I told him I would meet my client at 6 a.m. in the airport. He was surprised when I gave him tickets and asked him to check-in. I packed and prepared everything and he was totally awed. That definitely added spark to our romantic life he couldn’t take this out of his head.



8. De-stress with your sweetest.

Find one thing in common to bond to while burning those calories. Figure out couple goals, the best bonding session you can both enjoy. Is it swimming, window-shopping, running, biking or painting? Do whatever you can do to detoxify and release happy hormones. Bring each other to the pinkest of health.


We used to go to the gym. Now, we run and ride the bike together. I shop while he waits for me at the coffee shop, playing his games.



9. Best face forward.

Dare to be bold and beautiful in his eyes.

Reveal who you are. Your sexiness and highness — show it to the one you love, unconditionally. You know what he loves you most for. Stick to your core and strengthen it. Never mind the difference and allow him to love you by giving the real and all-out you.


I never tried to change my style and individuality, and I’m glad we both accepted our weird and good sides.



10. Seek the Holy Spirit.

The omnipresent and omnipotent God is the one we can only rely on to nurture and grow our relationships. He knows who’s best and what’s best for you. Trust that everything falls into place perfectly in His time and according to His will. And His will can only be the best for you.


Reflect and replace “love” with your names.


____ is patient, ____ is kind. ____ does not envy, ____ does not boast, ____ is not proud. ____ does not dishonor others, ____ is not self-seeking, _____ is not easily angered, _____ keeps no record of wrongs. ______does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. _____ always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. ____ never fails.

Love is more than enough, because we have a great God!

Awesomely romantic.



By Carmie de Leon

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